Today, I sloughed off the placenta
of my relationship with you, sloughed off
that unneeded baggage, a letting go
of what did not serve me.
I welcomed the baby that was my
freedom, my self love, the baby of desire,
the baby of rebirth to the person I always
wanted to be before the endless fight
for rights and freedom, to live the life
I lived before I imprisoned myself
in your energy. I do not let go easily.
There is a comfort in holding on,
like a warm cup of tea every night,
or a latte at dawn.
There is the mind’s not wanting to accept
that moving forward is the only way
because backward holds no sway, backward
is a falling back only to hurt myself
again, my back slamming the floor in
shock. Forward into the child’s pose
or the soft sofa can comfort before
I am up and running.
I trust God to let my life unfold without
my controlling its direction, like a blindfolded
child, believing that when my eyes open fully,
the sights will be much brighter than
the past, a past that dims a little each day,
dimming until there is only a faint light,
not looking back because a fossilized
pillar of salt is all that is there.